Chapter 4 part 4

###Bath, Bribes, and Boring Patrols

“I aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabsolutely refuse.”  

“Oh?”  

“See? Just like I said.”  

“Yeah, I figured you’d refuse…”  

That morning, in the deserted starport marketplace, I’d been inspecting some recycled quantum fabric remnants. A dull, routine errand—

until I ran into the Diana crew: Moona, Aioi, and Yunikon. If it had just been Aioi and Yunikon, no problem. But the bad feeling I got the moment Moona spoke turned out to be right on target.  

“You’re firmly against it,” Moona observed, crossing her arms.  

“Who wouldn’t be? You’re asking me to get tangled up in a noble’s trial run without even knowing the details. Hard pass.”  

A runaway noble heir? Some cryptic, scheming request? 

This entire mission sounded like a ticking quantum entanglement landmine. I’d rather they invent faster-than-light communication *after* I’m dead, thanks.  

“I totally get where Mr Narwhal is coming from,” Aioi chimed in. “I’m not exactly thrilled about it either.”  

“Honestly, I feel bad for Stella too,” Yunikon admitted.  

“Sure, I get it personally,” I said, waving them off. “Being the noble’s ornamental pilot, doing nothing but waving energy controls around, sounds boring as hell. But it’s still a privileged gig. If I were her parents, I’d want her to hurry up and climb the ladder too. Doesn’t mean I want to be dragged into that mess.”  

What did they think kept me at *Bronze-class spacer guild certification*? This. Stuff. I avoid any job with even a hint of political entanglement. Don’t drag me into it.  

“Hmm,” Moona murmured, clearly unimpressed. “The mission is just one day, and the pay’s good. Diana can pad it out too if needed.”  

“The credits sound nice, sure,” I admitted. “But I don’t want to spend an entire day babysitting some noble heir. If something went wrong, I’d end up stuck with the blame. Besides, I can get enough credits from other jobs I actually enjoy”  

Credits weren’t even that important to me, not really. I had my ways to earn what I needed. But flashing too many credits around just painted a target on your back for interstellar crime. Why would I risk that?  

This mission has nothing but drawbacks and no benefits for me.

Well, openly saying I don't need credits would be unnatural, so I do put on a miserly act at times. But in situations like this, total refusal is the only option.

“By the way,” Moona said, pulling out a small holographic data chip. “This is the exact reward amount.”  

“…”  

I took a look, because who wouldn’t?  

…Okay. Decent. But not enough to change my mind.  

“Narwhal,” Moona said, fixing me with her unsettlingly sharp gaze. “What is it you fear?”  

“The nobles, obviously. Who knows what they’d do? They’re terrifying. You Diana people are used to dealing with high-level officials and big shots, not us small fry.”  

“You’re being overly cautious,” Moona said with a dismissive shrug. “House Samselia is small. It doesn’t have the clout to sway the galactic sectors like other noble houses do, It’s just a minor noble padding the guild’s request logs.”  

She leaned against the base of an anti-gravity statue in the middle of the marketplace, thrusting her chest forward slightly.  

“…Mr Narwhal, where are you looking?” Aioi asked, clearly exasperated.  

“Boobs.”  

“You’re not even trying to hide it…”  

“Worst,” Yunikon muttered, while shaking head.  

What could I say? A man’s eyes just go there. It’s instinctive. 

If they didn’t want to be stared at, they shouldn’t wear standard-issue shipboard robes that barely counted as layers.  

“If my chest bothers you, you may touch it—on the condition that you take the mission,” Moona said matter-of-factly.  

“Ms. Moona! Th-that’s going too far!” Aioi stammered, clearly mortified.  

"..."

“…Why’s Mr Narwhal thinking so hard?”  

“Ow, don’t kick, don’t kick!” I protested as Aioi’s boot met my shin.  

“Back to the point,” Moona continued. “All Samselia Patriarch wants is to stop his daughter from running away. That’s why, for this mission, wandering the empty terrain of a dessert dwarf planet all day is enough. The goal is to bore Stella to death. We’ll handle her directly if needed. Narwhal, your role is to be there as point scout. That’s it.”  

“…Why specifically me? Don’t you have other combat specialists?”  

“We do,” Moona admitted. “But Goressa’s our only other point scout. With an extra person, we can ensure her job isn’t overly taxing. 

It maybe looks like a dessert but the terrain is cold, and while xeno beast sightings are rare, the ones that show up tend to be irritable and tough. We need backup. I’d prefer someone with your experience.”  

She wasn’t wrong. 

But that woman… There was something about her. 

Not the greed you’d expect from a noble stooge, but a different kind of trouble. And her eyes—they were *way* too intense. 

in other words her eyes are scary.

Hmm… I don’t know the nobles as well as Diana does. 

If they say House Samselia has no power, then I guess it’s true. 

Probably. Really? With no way to confirm, I’ve got no clue.  

Still, if it were just Goressa as the point scout, she’d have to protect the noble heir while covering Diana’ rear guard. That’d leave the rear wide open—Aioi and Yunikon included. Anyone in that role would face the same risks. No point overthinking it… right?  

“…Anyway,” I said, brushing my hair back, “I don’t want to reveal my race to the employer. The Suglaireian genetic markers are pretty obvious. This Glowy White hair’s kind of a dead giveaway. Could be bad.”  

“Then hide it,” Moona replied, like it was the simplest thing in the galaxy. “Wrap your head in neural-dampening bandages and wear a combat helmet. Problem solved. Or skip the guild request entirely—go in unofficially and take payment under the table. We’ll pay your share.”  

“I’m not doing shady stuff,” I said firmly. “There’s got to be someone else. Anyone else good at close combat?”  

“Mr Narwhal,” Aioi said with a groan, “you really don’t want to come, huh…”  

Nope. Not even a little. From the very depths of my soul. 

So stop looking at me like that.  

“In my eyes, Narwhal,” Moona said, her voice steady, “your combat skills are among the best in the guild.”  

“Well, thanks for saying that, but still…”  

“And we’re not strangers,” she pressed. “You’ve been close with Aioi for a while now, haven’t you? Just this once, help us out. As a friend.”  

Troubling. Very troubling.  

If House Samselia is as insignificant as they say, then I guess it’s probably fine. 

And with how much I hate nobles, refusing a well-paying mission outright *does* seem kind of suspicious…  

…Or maybe this is exactly why I should take the job.   I should seize the chance to stash away some credits?

A short gig like this could fund the materials for techs I’ve been thinking about for ages. 

No, no, calm down. I’m getting ahead of myself. Stay rational. Don’t weigh merits against demerits—just watch the *total* number of demerits. That’s how I’ve always lived.  

“Hm… you’re more stubborn than I thought,” Moona said, narrowing her eyes. “Fine. I’ll offer another concession. After the mission, I’ll invite you to the Diana clan starship. I’ll even prepare a warm water bath for you.”

“Huh? A warm water bath?”

“Yes?”

“…Your eyes changed.”

“That reaction was huge,” Aioi said, staring at me like I’d just won the galactic lottery.

“You don’t think I’d agree just for a single bath, do you?”

Moona scowl, then folding her arms. “Running the gravity stabilizers at full power just to keep water from floating everywhere burns through energy. But two baths. I can manage two cycles.”

“Two baths?” I lowered my head sharply. “Then yes, please. By all means, I’ll take the mission.”

“…That’s all it took?” Moona stared at me, baffled.

“Can’t be helped,” I said with a shrug. 

“Warm water baths are basically legendary at this point.”

Public cleansing chambers rely on ionic radiation—it’s efficient, but it feels like standing in a giant microwave. And sure, it gets you clean, but there’s no comfort in it. Meanwhile, water is reserved for drinking, food processing, or even starship fuel when you’re desperate. A proper bath? That’s almost a myth. Wasteful and indulgent, only people on the wealthiest stations even consider it.

Even if you manage to find places that provide water baths, most water them are lukewarm at best and it floats everywhere, and the constant interruptions from other people ruin the experience. A hot, uninterrupted soak in real water with the gravity stabilizers running full force? That’s a luxury I could only dream of.

“…I’m not entirely satisfied,” Moona muttered, “but I’ll be thankful you accepted. I’m counting on you.”

“Leave it to me,” I said, doing my best to sound confident. “But dealing with the stellar dynasty heir? That’s all on you guys.”

“He’s such an incomprehensible man,” Yunikon sighed.

“That’s just how he is,” Aioi replied, shaking her head with a smirk.

And just like that, I’d secured my chance for an actual warm water bath tomorrow.

Alright!

…Calm judgment? Demerits? What was that again? Some kind of quantum itch?